You know what you have to do?" "You'll have to remind me," said the PM "I have been busy with less mundane matters. I have been contemplating the floor of heaven and the betterment of mankind." "Er, yes Prime Minister Right-oh. But his watchword in retirement would be at all times dignity. Think, he told himself, of the ex-politicians who became gods of the world stage Tallyrand Metternich Kissinger No, not Kissinger... Nelson in his Bermuda shirts. The outer bell shrilled. It was Benjy, the marvellous boy with the permanently surprised look on his face The PM beckoned him to a seat World statesmen do not waste words. EPILOGUE: INSIDE NUMBER 10 (The Blair Years, by Philip Gould) He sat in the Throne Room at Number 10 and brooded. Nobody could remember when the little ante-chamber beside the Cabinet boardroom had first been given that name, but it was probably about the time the Daily Mirror had leaked a memo outlining Operation Stand Down.
The electric wall-clock said "Monday, 30 April." Tomorrow was the big day, the big anniversary, the 10-year reign, so soon to be relinquished. Ten years since the great landslide, the cheering multitudes, the up-all-night victory... His senior advisers were planning a huge roster of events. He couldn't remember most of them, but he knew what he'd like to see Epic cavalcades through central London Thunderous cannonades in Whitehall. A fly-past of Harrier jets, emitting coloured smoke that would inscribe BLAIR IS BRILLIANT on the sky. Perhaps the knighthood and the ennobling might take place on the same day, to save time. In what appeared a concerted move, the resignations came within hours of each other today - starting with Mr Watson shortly after 11am.. The junior defence minister Tom Watson and a string of junior members of the Government today quit their posts in an attempt to force Tony Blair to step down or name a date for his departure.
Starting on Monday 11 September and continuing until Friday 15 September, The Independent print edition will be giving away a free double-sided poster every day. Working with Edexcel, the UK’s leading examination body, The Independent has produced five fascinating posters for you to collect: The Guide to British Trees The Solar System The Weather System The Human Body The Dynamic Earth Plus the reverse of each chart can be used to assemble a full-size human skeleton. Only in The Independent --- If you have missed any of the posters, you can purchase a back copy for £1.50 per poster at the following address: www read4charity .co.uk/ posterseries Subject to availability While stocks last. 15 per cent of all revenue will be donated to Whizz Kidz - the charity that helps children with disabilities live a life with no limits. If you would like information about other past Independent promotions, please contact customerservices independent.co.uk.
As veterans of the chick-lit genre might tell Richard and Ewan, it's time to settle for Mrs Nice.. Meanwhile, back at home, Richard abandons himself to father-son love-ins, with Tony Parsons-style reveries on the cuteness of Bongle's sleep suits, cowlick and "liquid blue" eyes.While Ritchie is clued up on locker-room banter and nursery-school ditties, his first-person monologues fall flat: a problem, as large parts of the book are streams of blokeish consciousness. The narrative picks up when Richard stops talking long enough to enjoy an illicit shag - a one-off indiscretion that plays into the hands of his less-than-faithful wife.This novel offers humorous insights into the state of modern manhood, but it's hard to see it having cross-gender appeal - something to which lad lit still aspires. Even the cluckiest of females will lose patience with yet another Bongle nappy change, and not many men will be too enthralled either.In the end, popular fiction doesn't work without a Mr Darcy lurking in the wings. Ewan's and Richard's love lives are united by a series of pratfalls that push both to the further limits of the men-behaving-badly spectrum.Often set in some of media-land's better-known watering holes, Ritchie's portrait of metrosexual shenanigans is affectionate and well-observed. Ewan's misdemeanours include lascivious acts with women in White Company dressing gowns, and the start of an unlikely new career as a south-London drugs baron.
An editor on an uninspiring trade magazine, Bricks and Brickmen, he spends his working life missing his baby son, "Bongle Boy", and fantasising about Ali, his increasingly distant wife. Leaving behind his chic Shoreditch loft, he buys a flat in Dalston and decides to watch a lot of television. His downstairs neighbour - an ageing hippie called Grassy - persuades him to smoke a lot of dope, and his best friend Russell introduces him to a backlist of surprisingly obliging females. For Richard, redundancy is a different story, and, like the end of his marriage, something he doesn't see coming. Lad lit has also arrived at middle age but, as Harry Ritchie's latest novel shows, the boys aren't yet ready for Bupa medicals and second wives Ritchie's two male narrators are lost souls. The 39-year-old Ewan has been left by his wife and ousted from the company that he helped to found. Les Bienveillantes (Gallimard, €25) stands out for its size and subject matter alone.Leading French critics are convinced that the book will become an international classic.