Then he forgot to buy a ticket, and his numbers came up; the pounds 10m jackpot was shared by four people. "When I saw the winning numbers in the newspaper, I could have cried. I was physically sick in the living-room, and to make matters worse, I'd just had the carpet cleaned. I've never won anything in my life and I just couldn't believe I came so close to the jackpot. "That Saturday, my friend Lee Plant was in bed with a chest infection and he gave me pounds 5 to buy his lottery tickets. I bought them from a newsagent's in Hereford, but completely forgot to buy my own ticket - I'd left the pounds 1 coin on a shelf at home.
If I'd had a good education, I'd have had a job and I wouldn't have had children so young. I could have had everything I'd ever wanted - but I'm not clever, I can only r ead and write a bit. I do it because I think, if I won the big one all my troubles would be over. I don't really mind about me, as long as my children are happy.
If I cou ld just take them to Skegness and they could see the sea and the sand - they've never been on holiday I do the lottery on Saturday as well, just pounds 1 I've won couple of pounds 10s "I left school when I was 16 If I could turn the clock back, I'd take all my exams. I had a job when I first left school at Jacobs biscuit s: I was a packer "I feel guilty when I buy scratch cards. I should be saving the money, but you just can't help yourself. That's why I have to have the phone, although I can't afford it - in case he gets really bad and I can call the doctor. Their father comes to see them twice a week, but he's on income support as well I haven't had a holiday since I lived with my mum and dad. If the pounds 10 or pounds 20 comes up first on the card, I think I might win, but if I see the pounds 1,000, I know I won't - because I'm not lucky.
"I'm on income support and I get pounds 69 - with the pounds 27 child benefit, that makes pounds 96 a week I have to go without clothes for the children and me. I get my money on a Monday and by Wednesday or Thursday it's gone. I got behind on the gas s o they put in a meter and I have to put cards in "Most people round here are in the same situation. It's not a nice place to bring up your kids; there are joyriders and drugs and the kids' language is terrible. The lottery and the scratch cards are the only way out; everyone's doing it I've got as muc h chance as anyone else with the lottery. I tried to get a job as a care assistant, but a woman at the advice centre worked out that I would only have been pounds 2 a week better off.